


Your Chance Has Long Gone

by mickeysbubblebutt (brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly)



Series: Park Time Misadventures [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Reconciliation, because i'm still not over it, post 5x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:24:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4146300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazenlyunabashedlyshamelessly/pseuds/mickeysbubblebutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Desperately trying to play it casual, Ian had smiled, talking like no time had passed. All the while, he’d just wanted to reach out to touch Mickey’s face, his hand. Instead, there’d been this tension in the air; where conversation had once been so easy, now they could barely remember how to carry speak two sentences to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Chance Has Long Gone

Okay, that… That could’ve gone better.

Ian scoffed internally. He stared after Mickey’s retreating figure, wincing as the guy practically ran in his haste to get away from Ian.

_Don’t need to sugar coat it_ , he told himself.  _That was a complete fuck up._

“C’mon, Ian, what are you waiting for?”

That exasperated voice belonged to Liam. Turning towards his little brother, Ian forced himself to shrug. 

“Nothin’,” he said casually. “Let’s go.”

They were cutting through the park to visit Kev and Lip, who’d revived the ice cream truck business. It wasn’t like Lip needed to be doing this anymore, what with his fancy college degree. Ian thought it was more about feeling connected to his roots than it was making a quick buck.

As they walked over towards where the truck was parked, and Liam chattered about T-ball, Ian’s thoughts returned to Mickey.

He hadn’t expected to find his ex in the park, of all places. And then, when he’d recognised Mickey’s profile, he hadn’t  been able to contain himself. Excitement had him calling out.

_God, the look on Mickey’s face._

Desperately trying to play it casual, Ian had smiled, talking like no time had passed. All the while, he’d just wanted to reach out to touch Mickey’s face, his hand. Instead, there’d been this tension in the air; where conversation had once been so easy, now they could barely remember how to carry speak two sentences to each other.

_Ian hated the distance between them._

“Hey, if it isn’t my favourite two Gallaghers!” Kev yelled when he spotted them.

A stilted smile crossing his face, Ian raised an arm to wave. Liam’s reaction was less restrained; he barrelled off towards the ice cream truck, and came to a skidding halt in front of it.

“I thought I was your favourite Gallagher,” he heard Lip say dryly.

“Actually,” Kev replied, “Fiona’s my favourite. The rest of you are cute, but with Fiona’s legs?” He made an appreciative sound, “Fi wins hands down.”

Wrinkling his nose, Ian and Lip shared a look. Liam was too busy craning his neck to see into the truck to pay attention to what was being said.

“Wouldn’t let V hear you say that.” Ian commented.

“Pffft, she’d agree with me,” Kev answered.

Lip casually reached out to smack the other man upside the head.

“Do you have skittles?” Liam asked, the adults’ conversation going right over his head. He was standing on his tiptoes, hopping up a little to get a better look at what Kev had inside the truck.

“What d’you want skittles for?” Kev pulled an exaggerated face. “You should be eating broccoli!”

“Gross!” Liam yelled.

Leaving Kev and Liam to argue the merits of vegetables versus candy, Lip ambled out of the truck to stand beside Ian.

“You okay?” he asked.

Silence.

“Anybody in there?” Lip waved a hand in front of Ian’s face to get his attention.

“Hmmm?” Ian gave his brother a blank look.

“What’s goin’ on with you?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

But even Ian could hear the defensive note in his voice. Lip gave him a disbelieving look, merely raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“I saw Mickey,” he murmured after a moment.

“Fuck,” Lip breathed. “What-what happened?

”Hesitating, Ian didn’t know how to answer that. What had happened? Beyond it being the single most awkward encounter of Ian’s life.

“It was… weird,” he replied at last. “I saw him with Yev. They, uh, they look good. Happy.”

_Without him_.

“You okay?” Lip was watching him carefully, and Ian felt a spike of irritation. He’d been doing better, had had his meds straight for almost ten months, and still he got those looks. As though his siblings were waiting for him to flip out and pull a Monica.

Before he could reply, though, Liam interrupted them.

“Okay, we can go now.”The kid was shoving a fistfull of skittles into his mouth, his pockets bulging with candy. Ian was going to have to confiscate some of it, or risk having Fiona kick his ass.

“I see how it is.” To Ian’s relief, his older brother turned his attention to Liam. “You get what you want, an’ now you’re just gonna leave?”

“Pretty much,” the kid replied, with a smirk that would rival Lip’s.

“Oh, yeah?”

Loud, excited laughter as Lip grabbed Liam in a tight grip and ruffled his hair. Smiling as his brothers giggled and yelped, Ian turned to Kev.

“Can I get some smokes?” he asked, reaching for his wallet.

Kev handed the cigarettes over, but waved away the money.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it,” the other man told him. “My treat.”

“Cigarettes cost more than candy,” Ian argued. “C’mon, don’t be an ass.”

“Not happening. What kind of neighbour would I be if I didn’t see to it that my neighbour’s vices are catered to?”

It was tempting to argue some more, but Ian had known Kev for long enough that he recognised the expression on his face: he wasn’t going to budge.

“Thanks, man.”

Leaving Kev and Lip behind to sell beer, candy, and cigarettes to the delinquents hanging around the park, he and Liam headed home.

They were both quiet, his little brother happily making his way through his candy, while Ian’s thoughts were still caught up with what had happened with Mickey.

Everyday for the last couple years, Ian had missed his boyfriend. Regret, anger, and fear had all merged into the burning desire for self-sabotage. Mickey couldn’t want to be with him while he was like this; he shouldn’t have to.

So Ian had ruined everything.

A sharp kick to his ankle brought Ian back to the present. He gave a little yelp of pain.

“What the hell, Liam?” he demanded.

“You’re ignoring me,” the kid said indignantly. “What’s wrong with you?”

He hated when people asked him that.

Knowing that the blunt question was coming from a frustrated kid, Ian forced his attention to his little brother.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “What were you saying?”

Liam looked up at him with a scowl for a few seconds before replying.

“Who was that guy at the park?”

_Shit. That wasn’t a question Ian felt like answering._

“Just a friend,” he hedged.

“You looked sad. Why would seeing a friend make you sad?”

“Uh… We haven’t seen each other in a while. And we, uh, had a fight.”

That gave Liam pause. They walked in silence for the next block before the kid spoke again.

“Maybe you should just say sorry,” he said unexpectedly. Ian gave him a blank look, making his baby brother roll his eyes. “Me an’ Dean had a fight, an’ we didn’t talk for a whole week. It sucked.” Liam gave him a serious look. “But then we said we were sorry.”

Ian felt a tug in the region of his heart at Liam’s earnest expression.

“Are you two friends again?” he asked once he was sure his voice wouldn’t break.

“Yeah. An’ now everything’s fine.”

Smiling wistfully, Ian wished that that was all it would take. That a simple I’m sorry could get them back to the way they were.

He’d give anything for it to be that easy.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following Saturday saw Ian at the park again. He’d walked Liam to his T-ball practice, but was too restless to stay to watch. Much as he usually enjoyed watching the kids take wild swings at the ball, Ian was feeling fidgety.

Not paying much attention to where he was going, Ian drifted around aimlessly. He’d just gotten a text from Lip–his latest conquest had kicked him to the curb–and was typing out a reply when he heard someone shouting.

“You get your ass back here!”

A torrent of unrepentant giggles followed the pronouncement, and Ian looked up just in time to see a kid charging towards him. Automatically, Ian shoved his phone back into his pocket to stop the child from getting away.

“Hey, hold up, little man.”

Crouching down, and throwing his arms out, Ian gently caught the wriggling kid around the waist.

“I swear to god, this is the last fuckin’ time you get–” that same harassed sounding voice suddenly cut off.

Ian felt his heartbeat speed up.“Hi,” Ian said into the sudden silence.

For an uncomfortable moment, Mickey didn’t respond. Feeling Yev squirming in his arms. Ian slowly released the kid, focusing on Yev to make sure he didn’t take off again. It was easier than meeting the piercing blue eyes of the man standing a few steps in front of him.

“What you doin’ here?” Mickey asked as Yev skipped back over to him. He reached down, easily lifting his son into his arms.

“Walked Liam down for T-ball. He’s, uh… he’s really into it.” Ian shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the other man’s stare. “Which is great. Y’know, if someone’s ever desperate enough to break into the house, we have a professional to use the killing bat.”

“Dunno, you weren’t half bad with it,” Mickey said.

Ian winced before he could stop himself.

“Shit,” Mickey muttered. He adjusted his hold on Yev, who seemed content to rest his head on Mickey’s shoulder for now. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean that.”

“You’ve got a point.” Ian gave a self-deprecating laugh.

“Nah, man, I was bein’ a dick. I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Ian said after a moment.

And it was.

Ian remembered Liam’s words from the other day.

_Maybe you should just say sorry_.

“Look, I gotta go, get the kid home,” Mickey said, breaking the silence that had stretched between them. “I’ll see you around.”

Watching him walking away, Ian didn’t stop to think it through. Mickey had barely taken ten steps before Ian called out after him.

“Hey, Mick?”

The other man faltered, casting a questioning look at Ian over his shoulder.

“You…” Ian took a deep breath. “You wanna grab a coffee sometime?”

For a second, he thought Mickey would turn him down, tell him to go fuck himself. Instead, an intensely vulnerable look crossed his face before quickly disappearing.

“Okay,” Mickey replied with a hesitant smile.

“Can I call you?”

“Sure, if you want.”

“Okay.”

They stared at one another for a moment longer. Ian wanted to say more, anything to get Mickey to stay just a little while longer. But, after one last uncertain look, Mickey walked away, his son settled comfortably in his arms. Yev snuck a glance back at him, and Ian hastily waved at the kid.

A lump formed in his throat when Yev returned the gesture.

Ian stood there for a long while, watching as Mickey left the park. He could feel the slender threads of hope winding through him, even though he ought to know better.

Maybe it could be that simple.

  
  
  



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